diff --git a/tests/hermes_cli/conftest.py b/tests/hermes_cli/conftest.py
index 2848a8a9aa23..4673479d0de9 100644
--- a/tests/hermes_cli/conftest.py
+++ b/tests/hermes_cli/conftest.py
@@ -2,6 +2,8 @@
 
 from __future__ import annotations
 
+import sys
+
 import pytest
 
 
@@ -21,33 +23,39 @@ def all_assignees_spawnable(monkeypatch):
 
 @pytest.fixture(autouse=True)
 def _suppress_concurrent_hermes_gate(request, monkeypatch):
-    """Default ``_detect_concurrent_hermes_instances`` to ``[]`` for every test.
+    """Default ``_detect_concurrent_hermes_instances`` to ``[]`` on Windows hosts.
 
-    The Windows update path now refuses to proceed when another
-    ``hermes.exe`` is detected (issue #26670). On a developer's Windows
-    machine running the test suite via ``hermes`` itself, this would
-    flag the running agent as a concurrent instance and abort every
-    ``cmd_update`` test. Tests that want to exercise the gate explicitly
-    re-patch ``_detect_concurrent_hermes_instances`` with their own
-    return value — autouse here gives a clean default without touching
-    the rest of the suite.
+    The Windows update path refuses to proceed when another ``hermes.exe`` is
+    detected (issue #26670). On a developer's Windows machine running the test
+    suite via ``hermes`` itself, this would flag the running agent as a
+    concurrent instance and abort every ``cmd_update`` test. This fixture
+    stubs the helper to ``[]`` so those tests run cleanly.
 
-    Tests that need to call the REAL function (e.g. unit tests for the
-    helper itself) opt out with ``@pytest.mark.real_concurrent_gate``.
+    Scope: the helper short-circuits to ``[]`` via ``not _is_windows()`` on
+    every non-Windows host (Linux CI, macOS), so there is nothing to suppress
+    there — and importing + monkeypatching ``hermes_cli.main`` for every test
+    in the package is exactly what raced a partially-initialized module under
+    pytest's per-test spawn isolation (the AttributeError flake). Gating the
+    whole fixture behind ``sys.platform == "win32"`` means CI never imports or
+    mutates ``main`` here, removing the race at its source while preserving the
+    Windows-dev behavior the fixture exists for.
+
+    Tests that need to call the REAL function (e.g. unit tests for the helper
+    itself, or that force ``_is_windows`` True) opt out with
+    ``@pytest.mark.real_concurrent_gate``.
     """
+    if sys.platform != "win32":
+        return
     if request.node.get_closest_marker("real_concurrent_gate"):
         return
     try:
         from hermes_cli import main as _cli_main
     except Exception:
         return
-    # raising=False: under pytest's per-test spawn isolation, a concurrent
-    # xdist worker importing a module that transitively touches hermes_cli.main
-    # can briefly expose a partially-initialized module object here — one where
-    # _detect_concurrent_hermes_instances isn't defined yet. A bare setattr
-    # would raise AttributeError and error the (unrelated) test. The attribute
-    # always exists once main.py finishes importing, so a no-op when it's
-    # transiently absent is the correct, race-free default.
+    # raising=False: defense-in-depth against a transiently partial
+    # hermes_cli.main module under spawn isolation. The attribute always
+    # exists once main.py finishes importing, so a no-op when it's briefly
+    # absent is the correct, race-free default.
     monkeypatch.setattr(
         _cli_main,
         "_detect_concurrent_hermes_instances",